A Blogger’s Close

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February 12, 2020. As my finest hours come to a close I ponder, again, “What in the world am I doing here?” Me?! A blogger? What was I thinking? “….tell stories …. paint pictures of reflections {especially since my whole get up was about reflections lol} …. blog other people’s blogs …. try something new …..

I guess the list is a tad longer, but how is it I’m at the end of a year, which feels like an era, and I’m more lost than I was when I started?! I have the faintest idea.

The blank page …

The rhetoric posts …

The experience

The gratitude moments (which I can bask even after this moment)

The repost of another’s post

Ooooo, the write of a writing {what people call poetry but more of a spoken word — or performance poetry written to be performed!} —- wow you guys … maybe I need to try this on the new excursion!

The reflections … yes, this one has been my foundational idea since the very beginning. There is a creed in the COGIC (Church of God In Christ) organization which states “We pledge our unselfish devotion and loyalty to the principles and doctrine of our COGIC faith. To be representatives of holiness in our everyday lives. And to LET (allow, surrender) our lives be a MIRROR THAT REFLECTS the IMAGE of Christ”. I learned this pledge when I was a little girl. It has, obviously, stuck with me all these years. But not only that it has been what I’ve come to realize in a whole different belief! Our lives are mirrors! We reflect something everyday!!

🤔 That’s what this stage was for!

If you have read this far, look back at the first paragraph; the first 4 words: “As my FINEST hours …” That’s a pretty strong statement! I’m not the best writer; clearly not a good blogger! I’m not the best anything which makes this the finest hour I’ve had in the blogging world! …..

WHAAAAAAAT??? VERY CONFUSED??? …

My mirror has reflected flaw, distortion, light, comfort, reconciliation, anger, depression, selfishness, etc. — YOU!!

Thanks for this opportunity to have received your eyes! I will never forget ….

Block the Block — “And, Then What?”

This is so sad when a person is at a lost for words and is a writer 🤦‍♀️ but the issue of inspiration is not the problem this time. It’s more on how to start this blog.

How do you start writing the idea if it escapes you? Are you, like me, honest to say writer’s block is your friend (in the moment) and you have mechanisms to cope with the block? One of my tendencies is to walk away for the moment, praying earnestly, the idea will come. I’m, even, willing to admit rhetoric fills my brain and I just sit and type … seems like what I’m doing now 🤷‍♀️ but, thankfully, it has lead me to the idea.

When all else has failed and you’ve tried (experienced) everything there is to experience — then discovery comes — no more block! No more heartache! I’ve achieved my goal in whatever I was trying to accomplish. After all was said and done…. “And, Then What” happens …

And, Then What?

From grade school to achieving goals to live life
Success in singlehood or a husband taking a wife
Working hard from day to day
Being with loved ones for special holidays
Singing, laughing; the occasional sorrow and tears
Precious moments experienced every year
These simple notations, to everyone, clear-cut
But a question remains ... "And, Then What?"
The powerful question answered with rhetoric
Covers to prove methods of "cleverness"
Kind of sad to realize the limitations in planning
Showing the emptiness of life regardless of understanding
Are you able to grasp the point to the writing's angle?
Life is as vapor, chasing the wind, leaving us entangled
Entangled in thinking; pressing ahead
But after accomplishment a looming dread
The dread is: eventually we get to the "but"
Conjunction is the suggestion ... "And, Then What?"
Anguished! Confused! Still don't get it? 
A world allowed choices which end in transmit
Think about it ...
We're going to leave this earth 
Even leaving a supposed legacy will lose its worth
Legacies are based on people passing on a history
Otherwise, a forgotten path taken with no inquiry
Millions dying, being born - all at the same time
An unstoppable evolution to everyday grind
Family, friends, politicians ... enemies
Get it -- we are generations of specialties
Legends in time like Thomas Edison
And the scientists of this time bettering our medicines
It's the world's epidemic 
People of skill academically
Strange to believe ...
One day my generation will completely be gone
And, maybe, some positive deposits that will live on
Important to establish whatever the strive it's ultimately a connective
Good or bad is the person's directive 
The touchy subject in belief to a life hereafter
Either way ~ there is a thought to capture
Be it resolved no matter your rebut
The  question will remain ... "And, Then What?"

Tweaked Exert by Katherine Matthews

Impression – The Power of Your Absence

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The residue of the race swept us away
It left something in the air
A sense that has grabbed hold and still lingers
Our impressions can leave: fear, hopelessness and even belief
Belief in the idea "No, I can't!" "Why even try?" or ... "Yes, I can!"
It is said, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"
Does it?
The power in your presence, essentially, determines the power of your absence

A Thought by Katherine Matthews

Hmm, Does Being Able to Question Maturity Make You Mature?

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"Questionable Maturity" means masked?
Hidden through tasks?
Appeared intelligence; consideration
Resulted devastation 'cause the truth far from the scene
Selfishness's glean
Look beyond
What is spawned is someone else
Shelf yourself
Delve into what it means 
Maybe you're a follower's King
Taking and being lead is sacrifice
It's part of what was and is Christ
Coming into full growth is a golden opportunity
But, first, one must realize the "Questionable Maturity"

A Thought by Katherine Matthews

Please, tell me your thoughts — Does this statement about maturity ring true? Many question a person’s maturity but without sufficient amount of information; usually done with a certain amount of arrogance. I wonder … I’m up to questioning something’s maturity based off their tended responses. Is the answer conclusive or should I dig deeper?!

By all means …. share

Blog Fridays Repost —The Blank Page — Pictures Like Thousands of Words — Mirror Reflections

Wednesday, October 30, 2019. It’s the latter part of dawn a mind scattered in the loneliness of dread. A writer’s worst fear has gripped — speechlessness has succumb. What should be done? Is there a way out? Are you even a writer when the block lasts more than a day; two … three?! The inconsistent […]

The Blank Page — Pictures Like Thousands of Words — Mirror Reflections

Incomprehensible Forgiveness

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Who’d want to believe that there’s only one thing that cannot, and will not, be forgiven? The blaspheme of the Holy Spirit (God’s power in which the [3rd] of the Trinity has facilitated all existence as we understand it) is the ONLY unforgivable sin. Matthew 12:30-32 (AMP) says “(30) He who is not with Me [once and for all on My side] is against Me; and he who does not [unequivocally] gather with Me scatters. (31) Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy [every evil, abusive, injurious speaking, or indignity against sacred things] will be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the [Holy] Spirit will not be forgiven. (32) Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit [by attributing the miracles done by Me to Satan] will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.” How can this be? So, this means everything else is forgivable — including murder?!

Yesterday’s post rendered an even closer look into how we all are one. I was listening to some music on You Tube (preparation for an upcoming rehearsal) and came across Zach Williams. He gives a testimony of how he was drinking and on drugs for 15 years. And, yet, that’s not what struck a chord. His audience was the prisoners of Harding Prison in Buffalo, South Dakota. As I watched the video I thought, “Well, of course, the inmates will have to listen. They don’t have much options being incarcerated.” Gosh! So typical! And then I watched closely …

I recalled over 10 years ago being the Minister of Music Director at a church and, one evening in Thursday night rehearsal, I apologized to the praise team for a judgement I made. God got on me!! And it was quite fair. The judgement call was that those of the audience didn’t feel the presence of God because there was no display of any so that meant we needed to do our jobs to ensure they knew God’s presence was there! HOW DARE I!! God (in alone time) asked why did I assume they didn’t feel His presence just because I didn’t see it? Wow! I don’t know what’s going on in a person’s mind and heart. Who was I to judge when I don’t know a thing. “Showmanship” doesn’t prove presence!

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Are you having a hard time with the word judge? Great! It’s what we do without taking out the time to realize it. True, in this case, I was assessing {evaluate or estimate the nature, ability or quality of}, but my presumption (assessment; judgement) was wrong!

Okay … this purposed paragraph is to let you know calling out our stuff is vital to our well-being. Again and again and again I will tell you that TRUTH makes us free! Truth can be tough and hurtful in so many ways and yet it is the most freeing commodity we have. These types of components (wisdom, truth, love) are the tools to our vitality. Without them — life is depleted in such a way indescribable. Ask those who are trying to live a lie. Their cover-up is strenuous and they are burnt out beyond belief. But will they admit it?!

Incomprehensible Forgiveness is when someone violates your space by breaking into your home to steal a TV or computer; money, jewelry; maybe even some furniture — it’s not the stuff (though valuable in and of itself) but the violation of intruding the mind. You feel their presence even when they’re gone. They leave you vulnerable; open to a fear of being robbed again and again but you still forgive. Maybe a loss of a loved one taken by a murderer. There’s many reasons but no reason at all to why the accused would commit this crime but you find a way to say “I forgive you!”

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Though the list be long, and this thought hard to believe, those prisoners are people too! Yes! They are people too!! Worthy to be forgiven. Is it without reason that God would forgive a person who has taken a life? Or that He would forgive someone who violated your body by rape or molestation? How does He do it? —- But the bigger question …. How can we?

By all accounts Jesus came and died. It’s difficult to fathom an innocent man shedding His blood for us “just because,” but He did it! He died for that violator, murderer, etc. Becoming like Him is learning to do the unthinkable. Find, learn and apply a way toward Incomprehensible Forgiveness!

A Qualified Homeless Writer

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Walgreens Pharmacy

Yesterday, January 21, 2020 @ 6:12 PM. Just left the pharmacy to get a refill on my prescription. This line was long. I left my house a little after 5:20. Yes, that’s how long I was waiting. Something happened on this night’s occasion though … I cried my eyes out. I was listening to some music by David Jackson. A song called “Brand New Family (Connected Through God)” was playing and I was bumpin’ to it but a young man had my attention the whole while I was waiting. I think he’s homeless. He was walking up and down trying to get the attention to those of us in line. I’m unsure what he wanted. A part of me wanted to roll down the window; the other part – leery.

The song! The young man! Tears pouring down like I knew the guy on the street, but I didn’t. Thing was — the lyrics to the song are “I am family. You’re family. We’re family connected through God. I will love and I will pray for you. And together we’ll make it through. We are a brand new family in Him. We’re connected through God. We’re connected through God!” ….

Many upon many blame God for this or that when tragedy strikes, but that wasn’t my first thought. My first thought was “I can’t help the young man! … God, why can’t I help him?! He’s considered family just in the fact that ALL souls are Yours (God).” In the literal sense, this young man looks so much like my nephew. OMG!! The mirror reflected and I saw a real person who, I believe, suffers from some mental dis’ease. Yes! A dis-ease!! It is not easy for them to be this way. Medication is said to help, but as my Auntie stated last year after being classified “unruly” in a home that “I’m tired of taking pills. I’ve been taking pills for over 40 years and I’m just tired!

My plea to God in helping this young man, and now others in his shoes (homeless, mental, etc.) is based on a new understanding … I’m not qualified to help. Money is not enough! Food, clothing, etc., IS NOT ENOUGH! I’m still irritated that my Auntie is not allowed to be institutionalized for her case. A recapped post was my Auntie suffers with Bipolar and Schizophrenia. One of the workers at the facility where she’s located said to my Mom that the only way she can be institutionalized is if she brings harm to someone! What the hell?!!!!!! Then and only then is she declared mentally unstable?!!!

“My God, my God, teach us how to be aware of others and where they are. We see the homeless and, sometimes, we regard them, but Father in heaven we are so limited! Reveal to us those who are qualified. Give them the heart to want to help. There is a dire need around the world and we’re to blind to see it!! Please God, we really need to see!”

Here’s a writing I was going to post some time ago but timing has proven otherwise. The truth of something extremely important …

How should our story end?