A truck driver was driving down the highway when he saw an elderly priest at the side of the road. He stopped to give him a ride. Further down the road the truck driver saw a lawyer along the side of the road, and turned the truck on a direct course to hit him. Then he thought, “Wait, I have a priest in the truck. I can’t run down that lawyer.” So at the last second the truck driver swerved to miss him. Although he thought he hadn’t hit the lawyer, the truck driver still heard a thump outside of the truck. He looked in his mirror and saw the lawyer laying unconscious on the side of the road. Ashamed for what he had done, the truck driver turned to the priest and said, “I’m so sorry Father, I really tried to miss that lawyer.” The priest said, “Don’t worry son, I got him with my door.” By Joshua Kelty
A middle-aged couple with two beautiful daughters decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife became pregnant, and delivered a baby boy nine months later. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly ugly baby. “I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child,” he said to his wife. “Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered.” When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, “Have you been fooling around on me?” he demanded. His wife confessed: “Not this time.” By Teresa Romano